I Will Always Miss You… Yup, Yup, Yap!
Most of you who follow my blog know that I have not been posting as frequently as I used to. Many think that I was busy because of my grandson’s arrival. That was partly true but actually my mind was in turmoil. I had lots of food pictures but no texts to accompany them.
On one hand, I had reason to be joyful, to celebrate life. On the other hand, I had sorrow; the demise of a dear friend whose cortege left the same day Tae Jin was born. I haven’t had time to grieve for Yap. I didn’t want to accept his death. I buried my hurt playing the busy mother and granny during the first two weeks of Valerie’s confinement.
Yap was the one who brought me for my first Lo Hei when I returned to Singapore for good in 2013. He never failed to bring me pomelos whenever he visited his hometown Ipoh, in Malaysia, during Chinese New Year.
He was someone I wouldn’t hesitate going out with in my home clothes and no make-up on. I felt totally comfortable in his company. With him, I can remove my mask and let down my hair. He was generous, jovial, funny and can be sarcastic at times but he was never malicious! Yup, that’s Yap! And whenever I need to answer with a yes to him, I’ll always play pun with his surname, “Yup, yup, Yap!”
If I was taking pictures and he happened to be in the foreground, he would stay put. Adrian would ask him to shift out of the sun’s rays for comfort and Yap thinking I was taking photos of him would reply, “Can’t. She’d scold if I move.”
Yap was someone whom I can confide in. I did enjoyed his wits and most of all, his gentle accommodating nature. It was always “Up to you all. I’m fine with anything.”
I went to sleep after posting “Celebrating The Golden Jubilee With A Big Bang!”
Just as I was entering hypnagogia, my handphone blared unceremoniously. The ringing was short and impatient. The caller hung up before I could reach for my mobile which was literally a few centimetres away. It rang again and this time I caught the caller’s name before it cut off. Adrian! Ah… We were supposed to meet again for abalone Maggi Mee.
The culprit called again for the third time and I was about to chastise him when I detect sombre in his tone.
“Yes, Adrian?” I was in hypnopompic state.
“Sam!” There was urgency now. “Yap died!”
I felt drugged with sleep paralysis; unable to move, speak, or react.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” I started peppering OMG throughout our conversation.
Today is definitely not April’s Fool.
“What happened? Accident?”
“Dunno… Hey, I’m going to inform Paulina.”
It still didn’t hit me that Yap is forever gone. Maybe Adrian would call later and say it was a joke in bad taste. Wasn’t Adrian supposed to be in Thailand?
Ringtone playing. Paulina this time.
“Did you hear?”
We spoke a bit and Paulina knew I had been asleep.
“I’m so sorry, I should have hang up after a few rings when you didn’t answer.”
We chatted a bit more and hung up. By now I was fully awake but still unable to make sense.
I made coffee. I stirred in the evaporated milk. The rising steam brought a series of flashbacks. I tried to remain calm and sort things out until a message came. A new group chat had been created. I nearly dropped my coffee mug!
Paulina, Yap and I were supposed to meet up last week but Adrian was in Thailand. We postponed so Adrian could be included. Yap said he would be drinking with other friends that coming Friday and that we’ll meet up after National Day (9th August).
Tomorrow never comes…
Besides Adrian, Yap was my other significant partner in “Groupon” makan. We would look for good deals and went out to eat. After our last two outings, Paulina was just about ready to join us regularly. We should be celebrating Yap’s 51st birthday this November.
All the darkness in the world cannot put out the light of one “small” candle.
Samantha, please grieve openly and remember:
Grief is love cloaked in sorrow. Embrace it. Never fear its touch.
August 9, 2015
“Dear Lord, please take good care my buddy, Yap.”
I knew Yap for 8 years but it was the regular makan sessions that brought us closer in the recent years. I know he would want me to continue using the phrase “Happy eating and bonding 🙂 ”.
After a month of going through the motions, I am ready to accept Yap’s departure. He will always hold a special place in my heart.
Vanessa lent me her shoulder when I finally broke down in uncontrollable sobs!
Some of the meals I have shared with my dear friend Yap:
OH, THE GOOD LIFE!
LAO YOU JI FISH HEAD STEAMBOAT SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 老友记鱼头火锅海鲜
EVE OF RENRI AT IMPERIAL TREASURE SUPER PEKING DUCK!
CHAO YUE XUAN SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 潮悦轩
FIVE & DIME EATERY
HUA TING RESTAURANT 華廳 – FINE CANTONESE CUISINE
SISHU SZE CHUAN CUSINE 思蜀 @ GEYLANG
LO HEI DINNER @ CAFE DE HONG KONG 新天地小厨
WHERE LOVE RESIDES… HARMONY AND HAPPINESS WILL FOLLOW
PASARBELLA @ THE GRANDSTAND TURF CITY SINGAPORE
MAD ABOUT MAD! – MODERN ASIAN DINER
BIRTHDAY DINNER @ SINGAPORE MARRIOTT HOTEL
HIPPOPOTAMUS RESTAURANT GRILL – FRENCH DESSERTS
AH YAT ABALONE FORUM RESTAURANT 阿一鲍鱼富臨 – BOSTON LOBSTER & FRESH ABALONE SET
OFF TO THE RACES – DEAD HEAT DAY!
CHOON MING BAO DIAN 春茗手工包点
THE HOUSE OF ROBERT TIMMS @ WHEELOCK PLACE
BOMBA PAELLA BAR
OH CRAB! WHO IS UNCLE LEONG? – UNCLE LEONG SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 龍海鲜螃蟹王
KOK SEN RESTAURANT 国成餐室 – RUSTIC CANTONESE CUISINE
LO HEI – 七彩魚生撈起! @ KOK SEN RESTAURANT 国成餐室
Happy making/keeping friends, sharing meals and bonding 🙂
“I Will Always Miss You… Yup, Yup, Yap!”