I Will Always Miss You… Yup, Yup, Yap!

Most of you who follow my blog know that I have not been posting as frequently as I used to. Many think that I was busy because of my grandson’s arrival. That was partly true but actually my mind was in turmoil. I had lots of food pictures but no texts to accompany them.

On one hand, I had reason to be joyful, to celebrate life. On the other hand, I had sorrow; the demise of a dear friend whose cortege left the same day Tae Jin was born. I haven’t had time to grieve for Yap. I didn’t want to accept his death. I buried my hurt playing the busy mother and granny during the first two weeks of Valerie’s confinement.

Yap, myself and May

Yap, myself and May

Yap was the one who brought me for my first Lo Hei when I returned to Singapore for good in 2013. He never failed to bring me pomelos whenever he visited his hometown Ipoh, in Malaysia, during Chinese New Year.

He was someone I wouldn’t hesitate going out with in my home clothes and no make-up on. I felt totally comfortable in his company. With him, I can remove my mask and let down my hair. He was generous, jovial, funny and can be sarcastic at times but he was never malicious! Yup, that’s Yap! And whenever I need to answer with a yes to him, I’ll always play pun with his surname, “Yup, yup, Yap!”

If I was taking pictures and he happened to be in the foreground, he would stay put. Adrian would ask him to shift out of the sun’s rays for comfort and Yap thinking I was taking photos of him would reply, “Can’t. She’d scold if I move.”

Yap was someone whom I can confide in. I did enjoyed his wits and most of all, his gentle accommodating nature. It was always “Up to you all. I’m fine with anything.”

Yap and our makan drinking kakis.

Yap and our makan drinking kakis.

Yap and I at Daniel's wedding.

Yap and I at Daniel’s wedding.

Drinks after Valerie's wedding.

Drinks after Valerie’s wedding.

I went to sleep after posting “Celebrating The Golden Jubilee With A Big Bang!

Just as I was entering hypnagogia, my handphone blared unceremoniously. The ringing was short and impatient. The caller hung up before I could reach for my mobile which was literally a few centimetres away. It rang again and this time I caught the caller’s name before it cut off. Adrian! Ah… We were supposed to meet again for abalone Maggi Mee.

The culprit called again for the third time and I was about to chastise him when I detect sombre in his tone.

“Sam?”

“Yes, Adrian?” I was in hypnopompic state.

“Sam!” There was urgency now. “Yap died!”

I felt drugged with sleep paralysis; unable to move, speak, or react.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” I started peppering OMG throughout our conversation.

Today is definitely not April’s Fool.

“What happened? Accident?”

“Dunno… Hey, I’m going to inform Paulina.”

It still didn’t hit me that Yap is forever gone. Maybe Adrian would call later and say it was a joke in bad taste. Wasn’t Adrian supposed to be in Thailand?

Ringtone playing. Paulina this time.

“Did you hear?”

“I did.”

We spoke a bit and Paulina knew I had been asleep.

“I’m so sorry, I should have hang up after a few rings when you didn’t answer.”

“That’s okay.”

We chatted a bit more and hung up. By now I was fully awake but still unable to make sense.

I made coffee. I stirred in the evaporated milk. The rising steam brought a series of flashbacks. I tried to remain calm and sort things out until a message came. A new group chat had been created. I nearly dropped my coffee mug!

Yap

Paulina, Yap and I were supposed to meet up last week but Adrian was in Thailand. We postponed so Adrian could be included. Yap said he would be drinking with other friends that coming Friday and that we’ll meet up after National Day (9th August).

Tomorrow never comes…

Ade Poolside Party July 2015

This was the last time we saw Yap at Adrian’s poolside makan session.
Yap played golf and badminton quite regularly.
He was misdiagnosed as having gastric, given some antacids and asked to go back for medical review in a week’s time.
A person having a heart attack may have gas-like pain or pressure in the stomach area which is often mistaken for indigestion.

Yap celebrating my birthday at Marriot Hotel Singapore in 2013.

Yap celebrating my birthday at Marriot Hotel Singapore in 2013.

I wrote in 2013’s post: We “fight” and bitch but we treasure each other with each phase of our friendship.
I’ll never get to fight with him again.

Besides Adrian, Yap was my other significant partner in “Groupon” makan. We would look for good deals and went out to eat. After our last two outings, Paulina was just about ready to join us regularly. We should be celebrating Yap’s 51st birthday this November.

All the darkness in the world cannot put out the light of one “small” candle.

Tom consoled:

Samantha, please grieve openly and remember:

Grief is love cloaked in sorrow. Embrace it. Never fear its touch.

Tom Willingham
August 9, 2015

“Dear Lord, please take good care my buddy, Yap.”

Ade Poolside Party July 2015

Hasta manana, Yap!
We will meet again one of these tomorrows.
Here’s one for the road.
Cheers, buddy!

I knew Yap for 8 years but it was the regular makan sessions that brought us closer in the recent years. I know he would want me to continue using the phrase “Happy eating and bonding 🙂 ”.

After a month of going through the motions, I am ready to accept Yap’s departure. He will always hold a special place in my heart.

Vanessa lent me her shoulder when I finally broke down in uncontrollable sobs!

Some of the meals I have shared with my dear friend Yap:
OH, THE GOOD LIFE!
LAO YOU JI FISH HEAD STEAMBOAT SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 老友记鱼头火锅海鲜
EVE OF RENRI AT IMPERIAL TREASURE SUPER PEKING DUCK!
CHAO YUE XUAN SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 潮悦轩
FIVE & DIME EATERY
HUA TING RESTAURANT 華廳 – FINE CANTONESE CUISINE
SISHU SZE CHUAN CUSINE 思蜀 @ GEYLANG
LO HEI DINNER @ CAFE DE HONG KONG 新天地小厨
WHERE LOVE RESIDES… HARMONY AND HAPPINESS WILL FOLLOW
PASARBELLA @ THE GRANDSTAND TURF CITY SINGAPORE
MAD ABOUT MAD! – MODERN ASIAN DINER
BIRTHDAY DINNER @ SINGAPORE MARRIOTT HOTEL
HIPPOPOTAMUS RESTAURANT GRILL – FRENCH DESSERTS
AH YAT ABALONE FORUM RESTAURANT 阿一鲍鱼富臨 – BOSTON LOBSTER & FRESH ABALONE SET
OFF TO THE RACES – DEAD HEAT DAY!
CHOON MING BAO DIAN 春茗手工包点
THE HOUSE OF ROBERT TIMMS @ WHEELOCK PLACE
BOMBA PAELLA BAR
OH CRAB! WHO IS UNCLE LEONG? – UNCLE LEONG SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 龍海鲜螃蟹王
KOK SEN RESTAURANT 国成餐室 – RUSTIC CANTONESE CUISINE
LO HEI – 七彩魚生撈起! @ KOK SEN RESTAURANT 国成餐室

Happy making/keeping friends, sharing meals and bonding 🙂

“I Will Always Miss You… Yup, Yup, Yap!”

Other posts on and/or dealing with grief:
Life Expectancy: Expect The Unexpected
Life Is Once Forever!
I’ll Try Not To Cry Too Hard

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Comments
11 Responses to “I Will Always Miss You… Yup, Yup, Yap!”
  1. You have been blessed to have such good friends.
    My condolences to your breaking heart.
    Love, hugs and never forget … ME

    • Sam Han says:

      It would be hard to forget Michael. Every birthday of my grandson will remind of Yap even if I do. I really do appreciate you. Thank you for being a friend even though we have not met. I am grateful for you and several more online friends. There’s a connection somehow, hard to describe but easily felt.

  2. wingedprisms says:

    Oh Semi, I am so sorry to hear this. Like your friend said – embrace the grief as it comes – it’s the best way to go through……… Hugs to you and ❤
    cate

  3. Jessica says:

    Oh, Sam! I am so sorry. Yap sounds like he was a wonderful person, and I am so sorry for your loss — for the world’s loss — without him. He was definitely taken too soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  4. renxkyoko says:

    My deepest condolence on the loss of a dear friend.

  5. Lignum Draco says:

    Life deals us incredibly horrible blows at times. I’m sorry you’ve lost your good friend. Even more so because he was only 50. That’s way too early.

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