Fun With Pun

Fun With Pun

Photo credit: Google Images

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Acupuncture:  a jab well done.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

1-Semi

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

I used to be addicted to soap… but I’m clean now.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

1-Sam

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

And that my friends mark the end of my post!

Have a happy week, everyone 🙂

The contents were taken from an email I received so the original contributor has been lost in the chain – sorry about not being able to credit him/her.

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Comments
10 Responses to “Fun With Pun”
  1. BeWithUs says:

    This is sure an interesting post…keep it up!! Cheers!! 😀

  2. Thanks for the giggles! 😀

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